A Mother? Me?… Ha!

Do you remember the game M.A.S.H? We played that game in middle and high school, LOL. So, yea according to the game, I married Usher, lived in a mansion, beach wedding, my car was a Lexus, four kids, needless to say I wasn’t suppose to have kids until the age 35. Always said I would be the last of my best friends to become a mother. Well, I see that game was exactly that “A game”. Life changed for me at the age of 23.

Am I perfect?.. No! Did I feel embarrassed/ashamed?.. Yes! Have I made mistakes?… Yes! Am I a role model?.. No, but I play a role that has a purpose! Was I scared?… Of Course! My current situation wasn’t the best but I made the best of it. When you are scared you have disappointed God, your parents, family,and friends you began to become discouraged about life. But only to think they still loved me any way. They  were a great support system and accepted the every thing I considered a mistake. I knew God would take my future away from me or even cut off my blessings. I then realize  that pre-martial sex was the sin but my baby was a blessing. I feared that I wasn’t ready ,because my life didn’t go as I planned. My perspective changed. Never saw myself living in this world being considered a statistic, but I knew I wanted to give them the perfect life statistics could not dictate. I trust that God will still make a way for me that wasn’t limited, so I took a chance. I knew where I went wrong in life an started picking up the pieces. “Their life is to teach me the beauty in change, the value of wisdom and necessity of growth! My job is to show them how to battle fear with courage.” Raising children is not easy, but I look forward to the challenge. No one and I mean one can say that parenting is easy. I try my best to protect them in any way that I can, I’m sure that is any parent. My biggest fear is failing them as a mother and showing them exactly what a woman should be. I am constantly seeking guidance and wisdom in raising my guys. My beliefs, faith in God, morals, standards, mindsets are things that will help me raise them. I will love them with all the God I have in me. I constantly strive to live a life that will not only make a way for them, but myself as well. I know I won’t always get it right. Life is not perfect, I am not perfect, but I am perfect for them….

“Build me a son, O Lord who will know to be strong enough when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid! One who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and gentle and humble in victory.”

 

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