Always the life of the party. Full of energy. Fun to be around. Not a day went by I didn’t have a joke. Lol, literally! Dancing machine. Enjoyed laughing. But……….I lived with a closed mouth, yet silent one. What I mean by “living with a closed mouth” is not knowing how to communicate effectively, expressing myself, or opening up.
You would think I never struggled with those things, being that I was this all around fun person. But I did, even with those close to me (family, sisters, friends). Communication was never a strong point for me, I guess it’s safe to say I didn’t know how. Whenever, I encountered a problem, issue, or situation, I would always show it with my body language, attitude and facial expressions. Never with communicating or expressing. It was carried on with family, friends and even my relationships. I expected everyone to depict or understand what was wrong, what I was possibly thinking, and to pick up on my mood whether it was good or bad. Without opening my mouth. When I felt as though no one was getting the picture I would get furious! Like, really people?! Lol. I always assumed people would get it or me.
As I matured, and grow in areas of my life. I learned how important it is to communicate. Lack of communication and opening up played a major role in my friendships, as well as relationships. So, I grew into sharing my feelings and thoughts, communicating, and not expecting people to automatically know what’s wrong with me. It’s draining, stressful, and can even put you in depressing moods. I got tired of holding everything in and not being able to communicate effectively. I was ready to let go of what was holding me back. I now understand that opening up isn’t what communication is all about, but about connecting. Willing to share thoughts, feelings, and making a decision to share and be intentional.