THE TALK

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If there is ever the right time to have “THE TALK” I think it is right now……

So, handsome boys here goes……

Okay, if you haven’t heard by now, well ummmm, you are “BLACK”, “AFRICAN AMERICAN”, and “BROWN”….. there will be times where you will hear other names you will not like or agree with. Like, nigga, negro, nigger, boy, thug, nobody, hoodlum, etc. there will be more that is just to name a few. You will know who you are and who’s you are. But I want you to know that, regardless of what you may hear, you are…. AMAZING. SMART. INTELLIGENT. EDUCATED. RESPECTFUL. ENOUGH.WORTHY. KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO AND BE ANYTHING YOU BUT YOUR MIND TOO. Not a day goes by I do not pray for you and cover you under the blood of Jesus, especially when you are not in my presence.

Often times my mind wonder thinking about the countless “BLACK” lives that were lost, because of gun violence and racism that circle around “BLACK” boys and men. The very thought makes me want to never let you go. But that’s impossible. My job as your mother is to help you,  and teach you everything there is to know. I am your very first teacher. You will one day understand that being a “BLACK” male, sometimes your value of life will matter less to others. I pray that every human you come into contact with do not look a you in racial hurtful preconceptions, but eliminate practice of racist and those around them. In my prays I ask God that others will stand behind you and stand up for you and make you feel that you are POWERFUL and CAPABLE.

There will be times where you may feel like your back is against the wall but, NEVER GIVE UP. There will be times where you will win some and lose some but, NEVER GIVE UP. There will be times where you may feel overwhelmed but, NEVER GIVE UP. There will be times where you will feel overlooked and disrespected but, NEVER GIVE UP. There will be times where you will face unseen challenges just face them confidence, along with wisdom and choose your battles wisely but, NEVER GIVE UP. There will be times where I will not always be there to hold your in life but, NEVER GIVE UP. Make sure you keep God first, and understand that “NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST SHALL PROSPER AND EVERY TONGUE THAT RISE UP SHALL BE CONDEMNED” (Isaiah 54:17).

As long as I have breathe in my body I will be you mother first and friend second. As I am teaching and you are leaning daily, you are teaching me and I am learning from you as well. No matter what I may accomplish in life what really matters is what kind of Mother I Am. Understand, it takes a village to raise you. If I had to choose a super power of course I want to be superman, lol. But I can just improve daily for you. I went from a YOUNG mother to a more MATURED mother, because I have you all watching everything I do. And as my sons you are a direct reflection of my best self. I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU NO MATTER HOW I ENCOUNTER THINGS IN LIFE.

I LOVE YOU!

“Being a mother is about learning the strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed” – Linda Wooten

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A Letter to My 9 year old self……

Dear Brittany,

Within the next twenty one years you will experience apart of your life, where you will be forced to live in your truth. Forced because you’re ready to grow! You will find yourself in an uncomfortable situation that you took part in creating (God makes our lives uncomfortable to grow). In that situation you will feel pain, humility, discomfort, and abandonment.

You will then question Gods existence in your life, wondering where was he in the mist of this (only to realize he never left your side). God will have shown you a pattern of things beforehand. Those things were put in place to help you break a cycle that needed to be broken. And you will then go back to God questioning him about those same patterns he’d shown you before. You will then step in front of a mirror just to see your Mothers younger self in you. Living out a repeated cycle that could’ve been broken or stopped a long time ago! So, then you will learn to stop making excuses for your actions and you can no longer play victim, but learn to take accountability for your life. In the mist of understanding your patterns you will learn that “Every girl that was left by her dad has a broken heart” and you’d see there are scars from it that you never let completely heal. Within these twenty one years you became a mother of three boys (never imaging it would be you). Some where in that life you had become ashamed and not proud. Because you saw your sons life an exact repeat of both you and their father. You made it more about his childhood and not yours, because you weren’t ready to acknowledge or live in your childhood truth! But you knew that you did not want your children to relive your childhood (silently in my head), which is why you made it more about their fathers childhood than live in the truth about yours. Because your father wasn’t there but present.

You will then remember your father in front of you, asking you a question and you not know how to communicate. So, you then struggled with communication, opening up, and expressing your feelings. Looking at things in your childhood that carried on into your adult life, you never acknowledge but brushed it under the rug and moved on. Because you didn’t think it would show up later in life. When certain things did show up you didn’t know how to handle them, so therefore it wasn’t a grey area for you. It was either you show with silence or wait until it explode. You will always reach out to God to help you with these issues because you knew they were unhealthy and played a major part in your growth as a Woman, Mother, Daughter, Sister, and Friend.

You’d then use pictures or social media to show your strengths and beauty. But hide it with reality and what you were drowning yourself in. There will be young ladies that will look up to you as a BIG sister, role model, and even a mother. They only saw the outside appearance of you, your smile, beauty, laughter, fun, and strength that you possess. You’d never share everything only the reason behind you strength. When your third son came into the world you encountered something you would’ve never thought in a million years but it happened. That feeling or issue brought you to a point where you no longer wanted to cage your feelings and emotions in, and you finally reached a breaking point. You’d eventually let go of the shame, embarrassment, guilt, fear, and started encouraging others (women or young adults) with your encouraging words of experience. Then, you realized God was still behind you, your mother was standing in pray for you, your friends still loved you and continue to pray for you, your brothers never leaving their baby sister.

I cannot promise you perfection, Brittany. You will still have flaws that will be perfectly placed . No, you will not get everything right and nothing happens over night. But you have made great progress, and have taken the necessary steps of loving your truth to become and amazing woman and mother. Failure or Giving Up is never an option for you! You now have three amazing little boys to live for and you know the importance of loving yourself first. Setting those boundaries for how you deserve to be respected, love, and honored. You have learn to start loving the pieces of you that no one ever claps for!

Love You More Than Ever Before Queen,

Brittany Monet ❤️👑

Living With A Closed Mouth

Always the life of the party. Full of energy. Fun to be around. Not a day went by I didn’t have a joke. Lol, literally! Dancing machine. Enjoyed laughing. But……….I lived with a closed mouth, yet silent one. What I mean by “living with a closed mouth” is not knowing how to communicate effectively, expressing myself, or opening up. 

You would think I never struggled with those things, being that I was this all around fun person. But I did, even with those close to me (family, sisters, friends). Communication was never a strong point for me, I guess it’s safe to say I didn’t know how.  Whenever, I encountered a problem, issue, or situation, I would always show it with my body language, attitude and facial expressions. Never with communicating or expressing. It was carried on with family, friends  and even my relationships.  I expected everyone to depict or understand what was wrong, what I was possibly thinking, and to pick up on my mood whether it was good or bad. Without opening my mouth. When I felt as though no one was getting the picture I would get furious! Like, really people?! Lol. I always assumed people would get it or me.

As I matured, and grow in areas of my life. I learned how important it is to communicate. Lack of communication and opening up played a major role in my friendships, as well as relationships. So, I grew into sharing my feelings and thoughts, communicating, and not expecting people to automatically know what’s wrong with me. It’s draining, stressful, and can even put you in depressing moods. I got tired of holding everything in and not being able to communicate effectively. I was ready to let go of what was holding me back. I now understand that opening up isn’t what communication is all about, but about connecting. Willing to share thoughts, feelings,  and making a decision to share and be intentional.  

❤️

Crazy Comparison Game

Have you ever compared yourself to someone else? Or even wanting the life someone else has?  Parents? Friends? Sister? Brother? Or Celebrity? I can honestly say that I have. As well as my friends, and I am pretty sure there are more people that are guilty of this very thing.

There is this couple that I admire and absolutely adore everything about. I love Majorie & Steve Harvey. Their relationship looks perfect. Majorie is beyond beautiful, wardrobe is perfect whether she dress up or down, she makes it look good. Her love and support for her husband is amazing and the creativity that she possess in her craft (the lady love couture) her clothing line is perfect. Steve is very handsome, his suits and ties are always on point. His love and support for his wife is amazing and I have yet to come across a suit in his collection that I did not like, and he always has the perfect tie that make it stand out. They both have great careers. Last but not least they have a blended family of seven beautiful children. We can look at that and say their the perfect couple, or we  want our life exactly like theirs, we want a husband or wife exactly like them, we want a relationship like theirs, a career like theirs, we want to travel the world like they do. All those things we want and compare our lives to or to be like. I used them as an example because I once compared my life or wanting a life exactly like theirs. And the person you might have compared your life to or wanting their life maybe: Parents, Friends, Sister, Brother, or another celebrity.

Although, when we see all the perfect things that were shown, we also forget that other peoples lives we shaped by a very limited perspective. We know they are not perfect, we know they have a past,  building a career like theirs took time and patients, but we also know that marriage is a challenge as well as blending a family. And we still want a life like theirs. I had to learn to stop comparing or wanting a life like others because I felt they had it all together. We learn that no one has life completely figured out. Looking at what were shown maybe be perfect in our eyes, but we do not see what God placed in that person as an individual to help build the foundation of their life, relationship, or goals. We just want that life. What we have to understand is that, God has given us a great amount of faith and power to have an amazing life. We have to realize that becoming that person or having that life we want may demand that we get rid of ideas about what success maybe because we comparing it to others. I can almost guarantee you that Steve and Majorie had to let go of the idea of what they thought life should be or wanting a certain life and let God build them up around the purpose he set for them. Realizing that opportunity of letting go of humiliation, fear, shame, or hurt and gain strength to build that life. You will not find out who you are if you’re always comparing yourself to others.

Dear Mercedes Shaday,

Hello Beautiful! My name is Brittany Robinson. I ran across your article on social media and I was heartbroken to hear the devastating news. If I had the opportunity to talk with you or even understand exactly how you felt through your silence, I would have been there for you. Sometimes we encounter situations in life with no idea as to what our next step will be or how to handle it. We bottle our emotions and feelings up sometimes, because we are too embarrassed to share with others with out being judged. So we keep to ourselves but push others that really care about us away and they have no idea. I’ve encountered quite a few things in life but I recently encountered a situation that was different for me and depression played apart of it. In our African American community we often times over look it, because we feel as though it maybe embarrassing or we are scared. I’ve learned that we can’t just sit there and not seek help. If I shared with you half of the things I’ve been through you would probably ask me “Why are you still here?!” I knew it was so much more to life than whatever situation or circumstances I encountered and I have some amazing little boys I have to live for. Nevertheless, God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers! If you knew how much more to this life you had, I think you would’ve made a different choice…. Rest Beautiful ❤️👑 Praying peace for your family and friends 🙏🏽🙏🏽

 

My reason for writing this letter, was to say I understood exactly what she felt in some way. And reading that article really broke me down  in which I wish I was there to speak with her. I didn’t have to know her to reach out and help. It hurts to hear about situations like this, but we are living in a very judge mental  and cruel world its hard to feel as though we have people there in our lives to help. If you don’t know or you have no clue as to what is going on PLEASE talk to some one. Pray and ask God to help you, just do not sit there and continue to keep things or your feelings bottled up. It drains you, I know because I have done it for years. But I thank God as well as my therapist for helping me!!!

Playing Safe……..

“When you go through waters, I will be with you.”

Isaiah 43:2

“Let the fields and all that is in them be full of joy.”

Psalms 96:12

Often times we treat life as if we were drafted,  playing with a major league baseball team. We are always safe at HOME, but we take a swing at the bat and we’re either walking  or running to make it to our next destination safely.

I have been playing safe for years now, and with playing safe I always went back to what was familiar or comfortable. Always. We learn in the bible or often hear others speak on stepping out on faith, which is fine but do we pray and ask God to guide our steps? or do we just hope that our next step is safe when we arrive?! Of course we want to arrive safely, not knowing what is ahead of us when we get there. I am going to use my baseball strategies with going through life playing it safe.

As we know, baseball is a complex sport where strategy can play a big part. A baseball team’s strategy can vary from game to game depending on the pitcher and the opposing team. The strategy can change during the game from situation to situation depending on the number of outs and the count of the batter. The strategy also changes from batter to batter depending on the strengths and weaknesses of both the batter and pitcher.

Life is my pitcher and I was the batter. Standing on the home plate waiting on the pitcher to throw me its best ball. While waiting I focused on how I wanted to hit this ball and where. Of course I wanted a  home run, so I could fly through life with out having to stop and deal with whatever was in the way. But life does not happen that way. Life sometimes throw us straight, curve, or even foul balls. I went through life trying to hit everything that came my way, trying to fix everything, trying to control everything, and did not always pray my way through it. And when things turned wrong I always went back home because it was my safe place. So, I made it to every base in life and sometimes not consulting with God on it or trust him that he will see my way through. We pray and ask God to show us what is ahead or even what we may encounter when we arrive, and when he does if its not what we want then we stop asking him. But he warned us. I am  guilty of this very thing. Now check this out, when we do not pay attention or ignore what we ask God for and go ahead and make our own decision we have to go back to that safe place and start over again. God will let us choose what it is that we want but in that process he is going to show you that very reason why he let you make that decision. I failed many times because I didn’t put my trust in him or had become very impatient because I was ready for it to be worked out on my time. God would put me in a few battles empty handed so when I took victory I knew it was him.

 

 

 

Am I okay? Or am I over looking my issue?…….

Has anyone ever noticed a change in themselves? I mean, yes we make slight changes to ourselves. But I am talking about a change that you really can not describe, knowing it is not your normal self.

So, I ran a cross “I’m okay but I’m not okay” with myself. Meaning I’m okay I think, but something could be wrong. Well, I recently gave birth to my third son “Maliq Johnson” on November 8, 2016 and I felt normal as I have after my previous child births. So I thought. The day he was born I was excited, emotional, blessed, grateful, and all the above. I went along my day with normal duties, until I started noticing my different actions, moods, feelings, and other things. So, I’m like, yea Brittany that’s just you anyway, lol. But it wasn’t my normal “that’s just you” mood swings or normal actions. I started moving slower, I started randomly getting emotional (crying), not answering phone calls, text or even group texting, and my eating habits. You know  when you notice your eating habits, then something is wrong. Lol. But here I am still thinking that it’s normal, after every birth things are different and I’m okay. So as the weeks went by I was still going about my days. Until someone close to me ask “why haven’t you posted a picture on social media of the baby”, just out of nowhere I started crying. Not even during my pregnancy did I post any pictures of my stomach (I’ve always posted pics of my pregnancies as well as my previous child births). So my response was ” I don’t know”. I was not ashamed or embarrassed I just was not proud. I absolutely love being a mother but I just never embraced it. When I came to realize I then knew “I was not okay” because I wasn’t even okay with myself. I started noticing the different things, events, and tragedies happening in the world. I’d come across one that brought tears to my eyes, because the tragedy occurred back in my home town (Jackson, MS). It was a young lady of three boys that committed suicide. I began reading the story and the news started talking about everything she was going through before she decided to take her life. The young mother was currently going through a divorce and depression. Immediately, I started reading and researching signs of depression, and questioning God like “How could she be selfish to leave behind her three boys?!” As I’m researching and looking at the different descriptions of depression I had come across some of the signs that I saw with in myself! But me I’m like…… I don’t think I’m depressed or really feel depressed, because I am not thinking about suicide, hurting anyone, let alone I’m not  wanting to do any harm to my boys. So, since I don’t fit that description then I’m good! I was then approaching my six week postpartum check up, of course I was excited to be getting out of the house, lol. The next week (Tuesday) I went to my check up, excited. My check up began and my blood pressure was up that day, no idea as to why. So they checked it again 5 to 10  minutes while I was waiting on my doctor to come and finish my check up, but it was still high. Again we waited. Doctor came in, did my physical check up and then asked me if I was dealing with “postpartum depression”. Of course I’m like “no I’m good”. Then she said ” Do you notice any different signs in your daily activity, your diet, or even moods?”.. so I was like yes but I think it’s my normal ( in the back of my mind I’m saying to myself, it’s not the normal you) And she goes to say “are you sure your okay”. I end it laughing saying I’m sure. As I’m leaving my check up and everything went well I started questioning myself. Am I okay? Is this really the normal Brittany? Could I have postpartum depression? Seeing that I NEVER dealt with depression or postpartum depression I didn’t consider or even speak it on myself that I had an issue. But I reached out to my sister/best friend and asked her about it and we talked. So I brushed it off. But the thoughts still played in my head and my actions, emotions and changes in my diet were still the same. A week went by and I was still just okay. Spoke to my sister again and said “I don’t want to be the one that over look an issue, if there is one.” So I decided to reach out to my doctor again and she referred me to speak with someone. Finally, went to speak with someone and I suffered from a beginning stage of postpartum depression. I was scared to hear that, but I was glad I knew what was wrong and didn’t over look it anymore.

I wrote this blog post to say, depression is real.   Whether it’s major or minor case, you can not over look the issue. In our community as African Americans we always over look mental health issues because we or they think that we will be okay. And as a firm believer in God I know he can heal me in every aspect of life, I went to him in pray but I also reached out to someone for psychological support. But I still read my bible and pray, as well as reading my book ” Battlefield of the mind” by Joyce Meyers. And it’s okay to do! After my first therapy session a heavy weight was lifted from me. Being a person that’s not too open, I shelter my feelings and emotions, I close out the world and the people that love me when I going through something. It felt amazing! I didn’t want the antidepressants (my choice) because I didn’t think I was in a severe state that I had too but just to have a therapy session to talk to someone, was the best.

My goal for this year and the years that are ahead, is to become a healthier ME so I can produce a healthier life and relationship!

❤️<<<
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Potential vs Reality

Through out life we have the opportunity of meeting different people. Some we like, love, care for, consider a friend, or may even fall in love with. So, lets just say you start talking to this person that you find interest in. You start talking on the regular just getting to know each other, conversation is amazing (you stroke my ego I stroke yours), going on dates, and all the above.  And months pass and you decide to have a committed relationship, you consider that person your best friend because you feel as though now you know them and might even be in love. Then, a year or so past by still kinda fresh in your relationship and everything is going just how you expect. Until, you all encounter a couple  of situations, or  issues that make the person show a side of them that you have NEVER seen, like at all. So, now your like I don’t even know this person, like, Where did they come from? Why would they do this to me? I love them so much. How am I suppose to feel right now? Do I accept this and try to work it out? Because I do love them. Or, do I see the potential that they may have and accept them no matter what the situation is? Or do I look at the reality of this person and what they continue to show?

Now, lets look at the person that we fell in love with. Did we fall in love with potential? Or did we fall in love because of the true reality of who that person is? Do we know the definition of potential? Lets see.

Potential: adj; having or showing the capacity to become or develop into. The potential of loving someone is seeing what they want to become or what we think they should become. Sometimes we make that mistake in falling in love with potential of a person, and we stay around after they constantly show us that side of them that we never expected. Yea, they apologize for it, and turn right back around and do the same thing over, over, and over again. But you still love the potential of them, in our minds knowing  they are going to change later. We continue to stick around because we fell in love with their potential. Waste of time, huh?.  So, Let’s look at the definition of Reality.

Reality: noun; the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them. When first meeting someone 75% of the time we do not see who that person really is. You have that other 25% that actually will show what you see is what you get or this is really who I am, lol. Sometimes we meet someone, get to know who they are even when encountering certain situations they try their best to fix any situation and not return to that mistake they have made or any circumstance they may have found their self in. We want to love the reality of a person that wants to change or wants to be better any actually do what needs to be done to make it happen. Falling in love with reality of a person can sometimes hurt but it’s a decision you make based on if your willingness to love them for who they really are and not the potential of who they want to be, but never make it to be that person.

Do you want to love the potential of a person? Or Love the reality of who that person really is?

 

 

 

 

Who Am I…..Hmmm

Brittany M. Robinson is a daughter, sister, friend, mother, an imperfect person that knows without God she is NOTHING. She is a Southern Belle from Mississippi. Brittany’s family and friends consider her the humorous, very outspoken one that is goal oriented, but will motivate a fly LOL. I think you will enjoy Britt Mone’t journey. Lets have fun…….